Ranking the 11 most psychedelic 2016 transfers we’d completely forgot about

2016 was the year of Brexit, Craig David’s comeback, England losing to Iceland and Leicester City winning the Premier League . Some of its transfer deals were equally psychedelic.

Social media users have been nostalgically looking back 10 years to a time when the world was lighter they were younger and more carefree.

We’re nothing if not shameless piggy-backing opportunists at Planet Football, so let’s jump on the 2016 bandwagon and remember its 11 weirdest transfers.

Sunderland had circled the Premier League plughole for years when David Moyes arrived in the summer of 2016.

His solution to the Black Cats’ perennial crapness was signing as many of his Everton 2012 team as possible, including the once-brilliant Pienaar on a free.

The result was six wins, 24 points and bottom place. Pienaar returned to South Africa, possibly in shame.

Adebayor was on the Crystal Palace bench for the 2016 FA Cup Final, concluding a six-month spell at Selhurst Park that included 15 games and one goal.

Every day is a school day.

Roy Hodgson named Wilshere in his Euro 2016 squad, despite the midfielder making a single substitute appearance for Arsenal that year.

This signified both the paucity of options at England’s disposal and the paucity of imagination shared by so many of the country’s authority figures.

Wilshere attempted to kickstart his career at Bournemouth, joining on a season-long loan in August 2016, but it did little to stop his slide towards West Ham and retirement.

For those who remember his performance against Barcelona in 2011 , it was all very sad.

Had you only been exposed to football through FIFA 13, you’d believe that Doumbia was the best player in the world.

Pace, power and precise finishing made the Ivorian unstoppable in front of goal, a hero of suburban bedrooms across Britain.

Three scoreless sub appearances in Newcastle’s 2015-16 relegation season suggested the game’s developers had got a little carried away.

Chelsea started 2016 in relegation danger and were linked with a move for Jamie Vardy in the January window.

Thankfully, that romance-squashing move never happened. But we still can’t quite believe Pato’s spell at Stamford Bridge (two appearances, one goal) wasn’t hallucinatory .

Sanches was the breakout star of Portugal’s European Championship-winning team, earning himself a bumper €35 million move to Bayern Munich.

Less than two years later, Sanches was at Swansea and passing the ball to an advertising hoarding. He’s still only 28.

– Sunday, 24 December 2023

Swansea City spending £15.5million on Baston was another sign that 2016 was a glitch in the matrix, an indicator that the world had gone to hell in a handcart.

The Swans were an established top-flight team 10 years ago, although this expensive flop (20 appearances, one goal) was part of the reason they went down in 2018 and haven’t returned.

Middlesbrough returned to the Premier League after a seven-year absence and attacked the transfer market with glorious abandon and frightening randomness.

Victor Valdes? Sure. Gaston Ramirez? Might as well. Marten de Roon? Rude not to.

The big coup was luring Negredo to the Riverside on a season-long loan, although his 10 goals didn’t fit with Aitor Karanka’s masterplan of 38 goalless draws. Boro were comfortably relegated.

One of England’s greatest fantasy footballers , Cole’s gentle stroll towards retirement took in 22 games at Coventry in the latter half of the 2015-16 season.

Far from the Premier League-promotion pushers of today, Coventry were stuck in League One playing in front of 12,000 fans at home.

Happily, both of Cole’s strikes for the Sky Blues were long-range free-kicks. Class is permanent.

West Ham fans have more reason than most to look back wistfully at 2016 – Bilic in the dugout, Payet on the pitch and the final months at their beloved Upton Park.

A trolley load of tat – Jonathan Calleri, Simone Zaza, Sofiane Feghouli – were signed over the summer, but one name still causes mass eyebrow dislocation.

Arbeloa’s time in East London totalled three matches, enough to publicly reveal he should have retired instead of joining the club.

The most Real Madrid-looking man in existence was made to look Sunday League-level by Accrington Stanley, so the feeling was mutual.

When Jurgen Klopp is on his deathbed, preparing to ascend to an afterlife where the taps run with Erdinger, we hope somebody asks him to explain the Caulker deal one last time.

Because beating Southampton 5-1 (with Caulker manning the defence), signing him on an emergency loan and playing him as a striker is beyond our mortal comprehension.